My beautiful Annie is gone. Her cancer of the jaw finally grew to the point that she was beginning to suffer and I couldn't let her go through that. I had asked her to let me know when it was time and that's exactly what she did. Yesterday morning I just knew.
She was in her box that is next to my computer. She's had it for over 12 years and never wanted a new one. It's got duct tape all around it holding it together. She looks so sweet in it so I thought it would be good to bury her in it. I have a cat carrier that you can open from the top and side, so I picked up the box with her in it and put her in the carrier. She hates going to the vet and usually meows all the way there. This time she was pretty quiet. Once I got there, all signed in and paid, I sat down with her to wait. I opened the top and pet her in her box and talked her and told her how much I love her. She sat there purring away and she never has purred in the vet's office before. Once we got in the room, she was so good and so brave. She didn't fight it one bit and I just held her and kissed her and talked to her while they gave her the drug. It was very peaceful and I'm so greatful for that.
Gil had dug the hole on Sunday because I told him I knew it was getting close. I buried her in our yard and will get some plants this week to plant around her grave.
Now if I could just stop crying. I miss her so much. Last night was so hard. For 18 years she's slept on my chest every night. I kept waking up, looking for her and she wasn't there. I don't know if I'll ever get used to being without her. I love her so.